


Food For Thought

by LadyShadowphyre



Series: The Stony BROmance [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Clint is a bit of a perv, F/M, Gen, Steve wishes everyone would stop talking about sex, Tony likes pancakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-22 10:08:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/608654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyShadowphyre/pseuds/LadyShadowphyre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inquiring minds want to know what changed Tony's. The answer may be surprising.</p><p>Written for the avengerkink prompt "Mystery Whisper". What was the content of Pepper's whisper that made Tony change his mind?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Food For Thought

**T** HREESOME," Clint said, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. "It's a classic, two girls on one guy--"  
  
"What makes you think it wasn't another man being suggested?" Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Please, with Stark's ego?" Clint snorted. "He wouldn't want to share the attention."  
  
"If he does not wish to share the attention, why would he wish to invite a third person?" Thor asked, confused. "Is not the sexual exploration between three an equal sharing of passion?"  
  
"It can be, but if it's a one night stand it's usually for just one person's benefit," Clint explained.  
  
"I doubt it's a threesome," Bruce commented, one knee jiggling. "Tony doesn't really strike me as the personally selfish type."  
  
"You're kidding, right?" Clint asked, but Bruce shook his head.  
  
"I'm really not," he said. "If you watch what he does rather than what he says, he comes across as pretty selfless."  
  
"So what do you think it is?" Natasha asked, willing to concede (privately) that Bruce might have a point. Bruce shrugged.  
  
"Tantric couple's yoga?" he suggested uncertainly. "I don't know, I haven't thought about it."  
  
He didn't have to remind them of _why_ he hadn't thought about it. Rather than let it bring down the mood, Clint turned to the fifth person in their little circle.  
  
"How 'bout you, Cap? Any thoughts?" he asked. Steve jerked, face flushed, and shook his head quickly.  
  
"No, no thoughts," he said, more mumbled, then cleared his throat. "And anyway, is it really any of our business what Ms Potts whispered? They're both adults and we should respect their privacy."  
  
"But I wanna _know_!" Clint all but whined. "Come on, it's _Stark_! Whatever could get that man to get on board with this group when he didn't want to _had_ to be interesting!"  
  
"She said, 'Finish up quickly and I'll make you my special blueberry-pecan pancakes when you meet me for breakfast in Malibu'," came a dry voice from the door. Everyone but Steve jumped and turned to look while Steve just sank deeper into the armchair as if he thought he could hide between the cushions. Tony looked around at his team mates with a raised eyebrow. "I'm shocked, just shocked, I tell you."  
  
" _You're_ shocked?" Clint demanded, recovering. "I can't believe you were bribed to join the Avengers with _pancakes_!"  
  
"I _don't_ believe it," Natasha said. "After all the innuendo you tossed at me while I worked for you--"  
  
"It was a test, Romanova," Tony said flatly. "If you'd claimed sexual harassment, you would have received an apology and appropriate compensation and the matter dropped. If you'd taken the bait, you would have been fired. You did neither, which meant you were a spy, so I kept you close until I could learn for whom." At her startled look, he said pointedly, "Given my past reputation, you really think you're the only 'honey trap' someone's sent to steal my company's secrets?"  
  
"But... pancakes?" Clint asked again, almost plaintively. Tony grinned.  
  
"If you'd ever had Pepper's blueberry-pecan pancakes, you'd understand," he said with a wink.  
  
"I for one most certainly understand the appeal," Thor proclaimed. "I too find Midgard's creation 'pan cakes' to be most delectable."  
  
"If you're all good, I'll try and convince Pepper to make them for the whole team sometime," Tony promised magnanimously.  
  
"How will you convince her?" Clint perked up. Tony gave him an odd look.  
  
"She likes foot rubs," he said, rolling his eyes when Clint's face fell. "Look, if you want ideas to take into the bedroom, try Google or the Kama Sutra. Even if Pepper and I _were_ having sex, we wouldn't talk about it."

"You're not?!" Came from five voices. Everyone turned to look in surprise at Steve, who looked like he might actually spontaneously combust from embarrassment. Tony manfully restrained himself from facepalming.  
  
"Contrary to popular belief," he said slowly and evenly, "I am not actually addicted to sex. I have not, in fact, had sex since the night before I left for Afghanistan."  
  
"But you and Pepper have been together since the Stark Expo!" Clint exclaimed, stunned. Tony glared.  
  
"Thank you for illustrating one of the reasons why we agreed to wait for a year into our relationship before having sex," he snapped. "In case you forgot, I made her CEO of SI while I was dying, and there were more than enough people accusing her of earning the position on her back instead of on her actual competence and merit. As it is, we can honestly say to people that we have never slept together, which makes those people look like the closed-minded idiots they are. Not that it's anyone's business but mine and Pepper's anyway," he added pointedly, making Steve cringe slightly. The man opened his mouth to apologize, but Natasha beat him to it.  
  
"You're right," she said, ignoring Clint's incredulous look. Resolutely, she looked at Stark - Tony - and nodded to him. "It's none of our business, and we should not have been so casually discussing it."  
  
"Especially not behind your back like that," Bruce added apologetically.  
  
"Verily, had I realized that it was an invasion of your privacy, I would not have encouraged the topic to be discussed as we did," Thor said. He looked honestly crushed that he might have betrayed Tony's trust in that manner, and Steve looked like he wished to be anywhere except there. Tony sighed.  
  
"I'll talk to Pepper about making pancakes for breakfast tomorrow," he said. It was the closest he'd get to acknowledging the implied apology from his team mates. Well, most of his team mates.  
  
"Really?" Clint asked, sitting up. "You were serious about the pancakes?"  
  
"Not that you're getting any," Tony said, continuing on his way into the kitchen.  
  
"Hey!"

**Author's Note:**

> There we go! My take on The Whisper. Probably not what OP!Anon originally had in mind, and it showcases Clint's more jerkish tendencies a bit (head!canon claims he was exhausted and on painkillers) but this is what popped into my head.


End file.
